Welcome to part 2 of the blog “The day I found out I was having triplets”. Part 1 was originally shared to my list subscribers and is now live on my blog here. Make sure you read it first! Want to be the first to know about new blogs and other fun stuff? Sign up for the list here.
Where did I leave off? Ah, yes.
“And here’s baby C.”
Thoughts: No thoughts.
Thoughts: OH MY GOD
Thoughts: OH. MY. GOD.
The ultrasound tech went on to exclaim, “You’re having triplets!”. I’m not sure if she expected us to be surprised, horrified, or confused. We were all three.
I couldn’t think straight. I remember blubbering something along the lines of “How could this happen?”, “Where was the baby before?”, and a lot of “No no no no no no”.
Then I did what I like to think most people would do in this situation. I burst into tears and had a full blown panic attack. I literally couldn’t breathe and was crying about how now “none of them are going to make it” and my husband stood there consoling me as best he could.
I would like to tell you how he reacted, but I’m sorry. I can’t. Because of my dramatic, yet totally normal considering the situation, reaction, I don’t think he even had the chance to react. I kind of stole the show at that point (and from there on out, he likes to say!).
The ultrasound tech brought me some water and I eventually stopped hyperventilating. I’m not going to lie. I stopped hyperventilating when my husband said, “Don’t worry. We can get a nanny.” I was like, “really?”
All of a sudden things felt a little better.
I know it’s hard, but imagine. Imagine you are expecting a singleton. You go into your regularly scheduled ultrasound and they find not one, but two babies. Shocking, right? What’s more shocking is that all of a sudden your pregnancy has become high-risk. The chance of your baby being born premature is now 60% (it’s 90% for triplets). This is associated with a high percentage of health problems including lungs, brain, and other organs not being fully developed. An immune system that’s not ready to fight off infections. The inability to suck or swallow.
I’m not going to make you imagine 3 babies showing up on your ultrasound because honestly, it’s just too much to handle and you have a 0.1% or less chance of it happening. But that’s what was going through my mind. The idea that my twins that I had just come to terms with and STILL told myself even 1 baby would be okay, was now triplets. Even HIGHER risk. Even less likely of any of them making it. And what about the twin GAP sweatshirts.
I was scheduled for a blood test after the ultrasound so we trudged along. My husband kept reminding me that we were blessed and that Allah was giving us such an amazing present. I started to think, how in the world am I going to carry 3 babies when I already feel so heavy with two blobs (or tiny teddy bears…I can’t remember what they looked like at that point).
With the ultrasound photo of not 1, not 2, but 3 blobs/teddy bears in hand, I decided it was time to call my mum and tell her the news. Her response? LOL. Like, actually. She laughed so hard I couldn’t help but laugh back. She was ecstatic. She then reminded me how she knew it was multiples because she had two egg yokes in one egg during the early days of my pregnancy. I’m glad my mother found it so hilarious.
I proceeded to call my sisters, in order of age. I called my eldest sister and somehow my mum had already called her and told her the news (my mom is so fast, I swear like 2 minutes passed between when I hung up with her and when I called my sister). My sister’s response, “I don’t know how to feel right now. Let’s talk about this later.” Well. At least we shared the same sentiment.
My other sister’s likely thought it was some sort of joke when I told them about it. A joke. HAH. A joke is funny. This was not funny. This was terrifying.
I don’t know when, but I called a close friend to tell her the news and ended up leaving her a long voice message on her WhatsApp. Nervous laughter ensued, and still does, when we recall that day.
And that was that. I was pregnant with triplets.
I wish I could say I was dancing with joy and planning cute matching outfits and la-dee-da. But, it’s so not true. My pregnancy went from happy happy – joy joy to scary scary – high risk high risk.
It’s tough. If you’re out there right now reading this and you just found out you’re having twins (or triplets), I feel you. I understand. I know you feel guilty for not being excited like all of the other pregnant moms. I know you don’t like to tell people you’re having multiples *just in case* one of them doesn’t make it. I know you hide the fact that you’re pregnant because if one doesn’t make it, they may all not make it.
I know you’re sick of everyone telling you how blessed you are and how grateful you should be because you know that. That doesn’t mean you can’t be scared. I know you don’t want to get attached to your little blobs/teddy bears because every 2 weeks when you go for your ultrasound, you’re pretty certain there will be one less. I know you’ve decided not to buy any clothes for your babies or basically buy anything for them, because there’s such a high chance there will be no babies and you don’t want any reminder of that.
I know. I get it. Been there. Done that.
I also know that Allah doesn’t burden a soul with more than it can handle.
All of a sudden, that became my motto for life. I can do this. If Allah thinks I can do it then I obviously can. Allah makes no mistakes. If He needs me to have 3 babies or 1 baby or no baby, it is all part of His ultimate plan. I’m going to take whatever He gives me and I’m going to take it with a smile on my face. I’m going to have low days and I’m going to have high days but on all those days I need to remember Him. He will give me the strength to get through this. And to be a mom to 3 babies if I’m so lucky.
One. Day. At. A. Time.
And that’s how I found out I was having triplets.