You are the Average of the 5 People You Spend the Most Time With

On this week’s Instagram and facebook live, I talked about how you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. I discussed it from the perspective of a mother and an entrepreneur because I truly feel it is a unique challenge when more than half of the people on your list of 5 are your children.

surround yourself with 5 positive people

You can watch the live on facebook here.

The concept of being the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with came from Jim Rohn, an entrepreneur, author, and motivational speaker. Note: He’s also the man who mentored Tony Robbins. He taught him that the secret to life was to work harder on himself than on any job or career because that’s what would set him apart from everyone else. That’s a topic we will definitely be talking about soon.

If you haven’t already done this exercise, I’ll ask you to do it now: grab a piece of paper or start a notes file on your phone and write down the 5 people you spend the most time with on a weekly basis. You can lump “children” into one line number, unless they’re older than 16. Then they need to be their own line number.

If you cannot come up with 5, either leave some lines blank, or think about virtual friends that you speak to over text message and email (or phone calls). Now ask yourself the following questions about your 5. Keep in mind that nobody, especially moms, can be any of these things 100% of the time. Is this person:

  • Motivated?
  • A positive influence in my life?
  • Happy and optimistic?
  • Does this person have goals and dreams they are working towards?
  • Do I feel energized after connecting with this person?
  • Is this person someone who believes in me and supports my dream?

The list could go on, but you get the gist. If it’s easier to ask yourself the opposite question, go for it. For example, does this person lack motivation? Is this person a negative influence? Etc. Basically you’re trying to determine if your 5 includes people who are draining you of energy, who don’t support your business or goals, and who are “debbie downers”.

Are you surprised by your results?

We all have those sorts of people in our lives.

During the instagram and facebook live we were made aware that sometimes (often) those people are in our very own family. We cannot control who our family is and as Muslims and good human beings, we have an obligation towards our family and especially our parents. So, what do we do?

Say your list has 2 negative influences or maybe even 5! The simple answer is this: allow yourself to let them go. This can be through slowly spending less time with them, or by going cold turkey on the relationship.

You decide what will be best.

If the negative influence is within your family, make a choice. Either spend less time with them OR make a conscious decision to NOT discuss your business with them. If it’s inevitable that they will ask, have a few one liners ready like “Thanks for asking. It’s going well.” Short and sweet. Chances are if they aren’t supportive of it in the first place, they won’t ask any more anyways. You can still have meaningful relationships with people who don’t support your business. It’s hard because as entrepreneurs our business is our “baby”, but it’s possible.

The truth of the matter is, if you know your 5 contains energy drainers and free loaders and you don’t make a change, the only reason why you won’t reach goals, your aspirations, and your dreams is YOU. Because you have the power to make this change.

So go forth and create your “positive circle of influence”, starting with your 5. People who are passionate, inspiring, go-getters, and want to change the world. You’ll be surprised where you might find these people: at the library, on a playdate, at a course, in a facebook group, in your family, or on instagram (hi everyone!).

And if you’re interested in being part of what I’m launching soon, which includes connecting with motivated business moms and being part of a passionate tribe of muslim entrepreneurs, sign up here for further updates.¬†

Salam Sudduf - Muslim Mom Blogger of Triplets

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